RSVP: Thanks, But I’m With Michelle…
I decline the invitation.
I’m not sure why Michelle Obama isn’t attending the inauguration on Monday (hear, hear, sister!). There’s chatter; I can guess, but since I’m following her admirable lead, I do want to articulate my own reasons for declining the invitation:
I won’t co-sign the lie.
It’s that simple. Won’t do it.
We all know what that means, right? For those less clear, it means “actively supporting or agreeing with a falsehood, essentially backing someone else’s lie by not contradicting them … effectively making yourself complicit in the deception and knowingly supporting a dishonest act.”
Everything about this inauguration is a deception. And that I won’t co-sign.
In fact, the entire incoming administration is built on a stack of increasingly egregious lies and dishonest acts that tilt and teeter like a rotting pile of Jenga blocks. The lie that Donald Trump doesn’t belong in prison for the thirty-four felonies for which he was convicted. The lie that his criminal efforts to “defeat a federal government function foundational to the United States’ democratic process” in the 2020 election and ensuing insurrection didn’t merit prosecution and sentencing. The lie that a predator who sexually assaults women shouldn’t be held to harsh consequences for those acts. That a man who pathologically lies, betrays his country, and undermines the Constitution should be granted the highest office in the land. Those are just a few; there are countless others.
I wish I could just jump on the bandwagon, suck up my civic disappointment, and hoot n’ holler for the United States of America this coming Monday. But I value ethics. I have a spine. I know right from wrong. And I can’t go along with the pretense that the man behind the curtain of this farce deserves our applause, our allegiance and loyalty, our honor and respect. That the pomp and circumstance of a traditional inauguration should be granted him as if washing him clean of his vile behaviors and criminal acts. That we should all “unite for the sake of a nation” behind someone who, during the ongoing devastation in my city of Los Angeles, exhibited a stunning lack of leadership by doing nothing but sneer, insult, demean, and disinform at a time when people were dying, entire communities were being destroyed, and true leadership came from compassionate others, including foreign leaders like Zelensky who’s fighting a deadly war at home.
Somehow we’re supposed to deny the undeniable to, instead, be good Americans who’ll tuck away our moral compasses to listen to Carrie Underwood and salute the flag while they swear-in a convicted criminal.
It’s surreal, frankly. And no amount of civic gaslighting could get me to that circus.
But let’s slip even a little deeper into darkness: Beyond his boorishness, corruption, and ignorance, Trump is an abusive bully. That aspect of his personality might be his most repugnant, indicative of his preening sense of entitlement, narcissism, and self-indulgence. I know that profile. I unfortunately had my own experiences as a younger woman with abusive men, and learned that they lie prodigiously, groom and manipulate; overpower and terrorize, and, like Trump, usually find others in their sphere who’ll fawn on what they see as powerful and masculine, making the abuser feel grand and elevated, enough to, say, get elected to the presidency of the United States.
Every woman in this country who isn’t swayed by the MAGA mindset, who doesn’t blindly support a right-wing worldview; who’s clear-eyed, intelligent, and aware, will not co-sign the lie that an abuser like Trump should be on that festooned dais on Monday. Every person who cares about those women, who cares about marginalized communities, aspires to integrity, honor, and decency, and deems kindness, truth, and valor as admirable traits, will not co-sign the lie. The millions who refuse to watch Monday’s spectacle will do so not because they’re unpatriotic, but because they are. They respect the tradition too much, and know this one is unlike any previous. It’s a perversion, an anomaly, an insult — he’s the monster being let in the door, the thug invited to the table; the crook given the gavel — and, like me, they will not pretend, applaud, or kiss the ring, regardless of expected decorum.
Former presidents, notable politicians, and persons of influence who will attend are likely doing so because of tradition and decorum. Presumably they feel they must uphold those expectations. Frankly, I wish they wouldn’t. I wish they’d blatantly acknowledge the unprecedented taint of this event, and boycott for the sake of civic honor and integrity. But none will … except Michelle. Apparently there’s nothing heinous enough about Donald Trump to trigger what would be a historic (and ultimately admirable) response.
And all the news pundits, journalists, writers, and political analysts? They’ll engage in energetic, rapt discussions about “what Trump 2.0 will be,” how his “knowledge of real estate and business” might come into play; what he will or won’t do given his proclivities and limitations. Most will ignore or deflect from his glaring lack of character to discuss his policies or “how his personality hits foreign leaders.” His aberrance, ignorance, and crass articulations will be relegated to footnotes, as if these things are insignificant or unimportant.
They’re not. In real life, they’d be deal-breakers … they should have been deal-breakers here. Instead, our government is once again expecting the national population, a world community, and another generation of young people to accept that character, integrity, and decency don’t matter. That convicted criminals can skate past consequences if they’re rich, white, privileged, and manipulative enough to get gullible people to elect them … to grant them accommodations in court … to donate millions to their coffers. That honesty is irrelevant; sycophancy and spinelessness are admirable; that ugliness and gross incompetence are acceptable trade-offs for protecting oligarchs’ wealth, defending nationalism, advancing white supremacy, xenophobia, bigotry, and misogyny, all couched in … well, they’re not couched in anything with him and MAGA, are they? They’re openly practiced. Which should also have been deal-breaking. That it wasn’t, isn’t, is an American tragedy.
While part of this country pumps fists and throws red hats into the air, the rest of us will endure, transcend; carry on with life. We’ll wait it out, because it will end one day; history tells us that (the Renaissance did follow the Dark Ages). In the meantime, I’ll launch my new novel, sing in my choir; nurture my family, and work hard to ensure my soon-to-arrive granddaughter never has to experience a “Trump” or MAGA reality in her lifetime. I’ll stay educated on what’s happening without the “both sides” of cable news, biased reporters, compromised journalists and newspaper publishers. I’ll pay attention to who’s running in the midterms and jump on that effort as soon as possible. I’ll help my city, my friends, come back from the destruction of the LA fires. I’ll put positive energy into the global narrative, keep a lid on my occasional vents on social media, amplify and advance those who truly are admirable, compassionate, and positive contributors to this world of ours. And I’ll hope good people in government create enough of a buffer, a firewall, to keep him from further destroying all that is precious about America.
And on Monday, January 20th, I’ll take a dear friend out to celebrate her birthday, and we will not talk about or grant one second of our attention to the charade playing out in Washington, D.C…
… a lie neither of us is willing to co-sign.
